Weakest Skeleton! Lesson01 — Part 1

Information — Just to clarify, this is the side story at the end of the first arc.

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Lesson 01 — Don’t cry Ryuzaki! You’re a boy!

～ Part 1 ～

“GUA, GAAAAARGH…!!”

Severe pain, just like my body is being shaved off. Unable to endure, my scream echoes in the narrow kitchen.
No, it’s not «like». My body is really being shaved off. To the constantly occurring pain, I desperately endure.

My name is Katsubushi Dashihiko.
Formerly the homeroom teacher of Municipal Jindai High-school 2nd year class 4, now just a dried bonito.

You don’t understand what I’m saying? I guess so. Even I have no idea what I’m saying. But it’s true.

Take a close look at this narrow kitchen. There is a girl with octopus legs working in front of a big table? The girl has a knife in her right hand and a dried bonito on her left, the bonito on her left hand, that’s me. The name of the girl is Sugiura Aya.

She is one of my homeroom students. Perhaps it may be more correct to say former homeroom student.
Of course, even Sugiura did not have octopus legs in the beginning. She had good healthy legs that would suit her high-school sailor uniform. At that time she was a bit dark skinned and looks quite playful, but she was actually a family oriented high-school girl who belongs to the cooking club. Her parents’ house are modest but operating a Japanese restaurant with rich history. Actually, my parents’ house is a dried-goods store and Sugiura’s house is one of the wholesale destination, so I have known her since she was a child.

So why did I become a dried bonito and Sugiura became an octopus monster girl?

I will tell that story from now on … gaargh!?

“GAAA! A–AAAAAARGH…!?”
“Sensei, please stop screaming…”

Sugiura says, stopping her hand shaving my body with the knife.

“It’s extremely hard for me to do it…”
“Sorry. Even like this I am enduring the pain still…”

Back to the topic.

We were in the midst of a fun school trip. No, it was fun for the students, us teachers had to make sure the cute little teenage kids didn’t cause any trouble while traveling, it would be a 3 nights 4 days hell that made your stomach hurt. Although our class had problems with bullying in the past, but after 1st year the bullying had stopped, friends with similar interests were put together so as problems would not occur, and we were able to face this big event with confidence.
In conclusion, our students did not cause problems.

The problem occurred with the bus.

Unfortunately it rained the day before that day, even while the bus’ running on the winding mountain road on the Japan Sea side, it was drizzling. Although the asphalt road was not muddy, visibility was bad, and the bus that we got on caused a fall accident. To be honest, I was prepared for death. I also hoped that I would not die if possible, but well, I thought that it would be good if someone were to help even one of my cheeky little brats.

In conclusion, everyone was saved. However, our appearances have changed.

Among my secret hobbies, there’s the thing called browsing the web novels. I can read it on my smart-phone when I am at work, and it also helps me kill time during lunch break. Works are written tailored to the author’s desire, because there are works that aim to eliminate stress so that readers can just feel comfortable, to tell the truth, my brain that’s tired of daily hard work is briskly healed.
Among them, there is a category called «non-human reincarnation». Die, and be reborn as a non-human creature. The kinds are pretty rich. From slime to insect, goblin to dragon. And undead is quite mainstream as well. To be liberated from this rough world and throw away the body of a dirty human. Well, I understand. I also, always thought about such a thing.

This is close to that «non-human reincarnation» stuff. It happened to my cute homeroom students, to everyone.

Leader of the class, Ryuzaki is now a dragon-kin. Then the number 1 problem child, Inugami became a werewolf. And that’s why I am a poor dried bonito.
Non-human reincarnation. It means something that is not human. Certainly it’s not human being, but I can’t understand why it falls under the category of non-human reincarnation.

I cannot understand it. Why am I a dried bonito? Certainly my home is a dried-goods store. It is a well-established store that keeps the tradition from the Edo period. But why? Why is there a need for me to be a dried bonito? I don’t understand the meaning. My head hurts. Do you think that it would sell if you set it a little bit innovative? It is certainly interesting. It maybe a good laugh. However, that’s the punchline, the end. There is no way to make interesting stories by reincarnating as a dried bonito.

You guys may not know, but there are no limbs on the dried bonito. So, I cannot move.
When I woke up, Ryuzaki was gathering the students together and did a roll calls. Listening to the story, I could guess the general situation, but even if I desperately raised my voice I could not reach my cute students. The place was bad. I was in the shadow of a big rock.

However, there was an angel-like student who heard my voice and picked me up. That student handed me to Sugiura, and now I’m in the kitchen. I was at a lost as whether I should give out my name, but thinking that the students would be upset knowing that their teacher became a dried bonito, the courage just wouldn’t come out.
Instead, I decided to offer the students the soup stock made from my own body.

“Anyway sensei, since I haven’t got enough shavings yet, I’ll continue.”
“Ah, I understand … gua! GAAAARGH! GAAAAAARGH!!”

This scream sounds quite loud, it seems to be heard even from outside the kitchen. That’s why Sugiura always drives out the students from the dining room after the meal is over.

Most of the tools in the kitchen are the ones that the students have picked up while exploring this underground labyrinth. Especially the group of Gofunkawahara and Okumura is excellent in exploring.
The residential area the students call «the base» is located on the 1st aboveground floor, originally an office or stronghold, the place is partitioned into blocks. The labyrinth itself has a structure like an underground cemetery, and considering that, is this place the management facility of the graves?
Hmm. Well, I don’t understand it well. For me now, this narrow kitchen is all that my world is comprised of.

“Sugiura, when you shave, be a little gentler…”
“Even this is pretty gentle, isn’t it? But this is enough for now. Thanks.”

Saying that, Sugiura throws my shavings into the pot.

“It is bonito soup stock every-time, I wonder if everyone will get tired.”
“Sorry. If only I can deliver more variety of soup…”
“Then you won’t be a dried bonito anymore.”

Sugiura mutters while watching the foods arranged in the kitchen.

Various monsters are hiding in the labyrinth. Among them, it seems that monsters that are relatively close to animals, such as crocodiles and rabbits, are hunted favorably as a protein source. Sometimes their bones are boiled in order to make soup stock. In those cases, my body can get some rest.
By the way, the probability of bringing back the results of hunting is delinquent girl Inugami Hibiki as number 1 by far. Even though she is diving into the labyrinth all alone, I wonder if it’s a hidden talent? Or, her hunting instinct has awoken as a wolf? Sometimes, the rabbits that she brings in have parts cherry-picked.

“Even so sensei, your body is not infinity…”
“Certainly, you’re right…”

I also think that it’s good if the students can be happy with the soup stock made from myself.
But there is a limit. My body will be shaved off, and no fragments will be left behind. If that happens, I won’t be able to offer delicious bonito soup stock to the students anymore. It’s a tragedy.

While I am thinking about such a thing, a will-o’-wisp ∗fuyo fuyo∗ comes flying into the kitchen.

“That was some awful screams…”
“Ah, Hino-kun.”

Hino Akira. This guy is also my student. Before the reincarnation he was a small boy, but he has transformed quite a bit.

Although he doesn’t talk much, has a bad mouth and poor attitude, he can study. Moreover, it was this Hino who noticed me screaming and took me along. Hino has neither hands nor feet, but he can freely «carry» things up to within 5 cm of his surroundings. Thanks to it I was burned a fair bit and went all soft (It is good to put hardened dried bonito on fire to soften it).
Hino carries a book in his hands while paying close attention so as not to burn it.

“Sensei, I came to return Honno-san.”
“Ah, yeah. Let me down at the usual place.”

Honno-san is the name of the bus guide that was involved in the accident together with us. And, the book that Hino has in hands is Honno-san.

Honno-san has reincarnated as a book.

“Thank you, Hino-kun. Was it interesting?”

While being placed in a predetermined position in the kitchen, Honno-san asks. But Hino responds with a bored tone.

“It’s good enough to kill time. Well then.”

Saying that, Hino leaves. He still has a bad attitude. To Honno-san who was so young and beautiful…. Well she’s just a book now. Moreover, it’s a book about sightseeing spots in Japan. It’s not good for anything in this different world.
After seeing Hino out of the dining room, I say to Honno-san.

“I’m sorry, Honno-san. That guy, he’s like that…”
“No, it’s fine. It is common for young children.”

Honno-san’s pages turn over and I see the calm archaic smile of Kōryū-ji Temple’s Bodhisattva Maitreya. The book seems to be more rich in emotional expression than the dried bonito.
In this kitchen, the crazy spectacle where a guide book and a dried bonito are talking unfolds, Sugiura keeps preparing for dinner, as if she doesn’t particularly care. Well it’s a big deal.

“But is that okay? Sensei.”
“What is?”
“The students are anxious, aren’t they? It would be better if sensei pulls everyone together…”
“I have also thought about it. But I am no longer a teacher. Now I’m just a dried bonito.”

What a dried bonito can do is just delivering soup stock.

I’m worried about the students. Ryuzaki has sufficient qualities as a class leader, but there is still uncertainty in leadership under such extreme conditions. And from the story that I heard, it seems that his pretense has already peeled off.
And I’m uneasy about Kogane as well. He was originally a bullied boy, but the environment had changed since becoming a 2nd year student, the surrounding situation was also stable. In April of 1st year, he had been brought out by the class bullies to have «private talks» for a while. But it stopped after Ryuzaki and Goubayashi went over for a direct discussion. Well, I guess the bullies were scolded by Goubayashi.
When Kogane came to this world, he suddenly had power in his hands. I heard that he gradually became arrogant as a result. This dangerous feeling is just like carrying explosives around.

However, even when we were still human, sensei couldn’t solve the students’ dispute.

As I am know, what can I even do?

Just delivering soup stock.

I try to sigh but as a dried bonito, even that is impossible.

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